What Came Out of My Season of Singlehood

In the past, I set out on endeavors which I think will lead me to an esteemed lifestyle and status that will match up to that of my then-boyfriends. In my great desire to fit in and be loved, I changed who I am to please them. I reshaped my identity thinking that it will make me become the person I thought others would want to be with. But in the end, all of these stripped me down to a broken and disfigured piece of nothing, with no real idea on who she is and what she wants to be.

Which is why after 3 failed relationships, I finally decided to stop the endless cycle of going into half-baked partnerships that will most likely bring me down and destroy me. Instead, I set out to conquer my dreams and goals—independently and with no boyfriend in tow.

The moment I singly embraced my inner awkwardness and passions was also the moment I steered myself towards my life’s MOST BRILLIANT MOMENTS.

INTERNSHIP 

During my internship, I was assigned to a facility for recovering drug dependents and also in a war-torn community in Maragusan. Those internships were by far two of the most enriching experiences I have in my academic life that molded me to become a better person and influenced me to better love my craft (Social Work).

It was then that I came to realize that this profession is really the one meant for me. This is the profession that I can grow in and one that I can love. Yes, it is an unknown career with lesser monetary incentives compared to other professions, but it is the field where I find myself and my passions being actualized. Although not everyone can and will understand why I chose this path when I can do better in other areas, I truly believe in my heart that this is where I am meant to be.

GRADUATION

One of my life’s proudest moments. Finally, I achieved it! After 2 shifting stints, a semestral leave of absence, and 2 years of delay… I finally reached this stage! I wasn’t a stellar student with an academic profile that is bursting with prestigious accolades and honors. Many would say I am capable of it if I want to; but back then, I started on the wrong foot. Instead of focusing on my studies, most of my time was spent dilly-dallying with my then-boyfriends and peers. I thought having a bursting social life was the key to success; little did I know that I was totally wrong.

But I do not regret any of it, because it was then that I also met key individuals, who until now play integral roles in my life. Furthermore, the experiences I had in college shaped me up to become better in distinguishing between right and wrong, should and shouldn’t. Yes, delinquency was my game back then, but it was also then that I realized just how much money and time I’ve wasted for it. And I do not want to commit the same mistakes again. Life is too short to keep on making the same errors and wishing for totally different results.

TOPPING THE LICENSURE EXAMINATION FOR SOCIAL WORKERS

Unbelievable. Inconceivable. Miraculous. Being the 7th placer for the Licensure Examination for Social Workers was really something I never even thought possible! It was a defining moment for me that reinforced just how much I really should be in this field. When back then my parents were still doubting the idea of me being a social worker; topping the exam made them realize and be thankful that they supported me through all my decisions even when they used to question them. And it is also with them that I celebrate this truly wondrous occassion.

With this honor, I know I am ready and capable of conquering better dreams and reaching bigger goals!

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No words can describe how blessed I am during this season of singlehood. There were moments when I was about to cave in to my desire to enter a relationship to show that I am in a better one and with a better guy, but my conviction got the better of me. I stick with my promise to be single … and for that I have been PERPETUALLY BLESSED.

Being single at this point in my life was crucial because it gave me an unbiased view on what I wanted to do with my life. It made me focus on what my aspirations are and what I wanted to do in life— not focus on how my future path can fit in with another. I reached this stage on my own and without distractions. It gave me the space to grow and to set out to do what I aim to achieve with my own attributes, strengths, skills, and even weaknesses, and not let anyone define who I am and what I should be.

My journey isn’t over yet. I am still out to achieving more of my desires and goals. I will not be rushing to meet the ONE because I know that there will be a right time for that. And when that time comes, it will be perfect. For now, my pursuit for self-growth and realization isn’t over yet and I will not hold back on anything; knowing that in the end, things will happen the way they are designed to be… HAPPILY AND PERFECTLY.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Love and Relationships, Personal, Singlehood